You know that something isn’t quite right. Maybe you have been feeling low for a really long time. Perhaps the things that used to make you feel better are no longer working. You may be experiencing conflict or a breakdown in your relationships. Whatever it is, all you know is that you are not happy, and something needs to change. It’s not always easy to acknowledge that things in your life are not quite as you would like them to be. For some, this comes with a feeling of failure; why haven’t you been able to ‘win’ at life like everybody else seems to be doing? Sometimes there is a guilt that despite trying so hard, you don’t have the tools to help yourself. For others, there is the fear of opening a lifetime of worries, feelings and experiences that you have been working hard to forget or leave in the past. All these feelings are normal. You are not alone. If you had a physical health problem, you probably wouldn’t think twice about going to the doctor and seeking help and support. Why don’t we treat our mental health in the same way? Sometimes life can throw some really challenging events at us, sometimes it is a gradual build-up of stressors and experiences that over the days, months and years become too much to manage on our own. However you have got to this point, there are people who can help. So, you know you would like help, but how do you find it? How do you choose what will be right? The answer is to reach out; contact therapists, talk to them, ask all the questions you have, and get a feel for whether they are someone who will help you to feel safe enough to begin to lay down some of the heavy emotional burdens you have been carrying. A good therapist will assess your needs and take time with you to consider whether they can offer what you need, and if they can’t, they will signpost you to somewhere that can. A good therapist will be warm and open, they won’t pressurise you and they will place you at the centre of everything they do. One of the most important factors for effective therapy is the therapeutic relationship; the relationship between client and therapist. Therapy is a collaboration which is built on trust, empathy and non-judgement. Once that relationship is developed it creates a space where the client feels safe to share and explore, and the therapist can hold what the client brings. Spend time finding someone who can do all this with you, who will walk alongside you as you work through your problems, feelings and experiences. You’ve acknowledged you want some help and support, you’ve chosen your therapist and it’s time for your first session. How do you feel? Nervous; relieved; defensive; fearful; excited. All these emotions and more are to be expected before a first session. But therapy is about one step at a time, so take that next step into the session and begin your journey.