Mental Health for Later Life

The Generational Gap in Mental Health Awareness

Mental health is a topic frequently discussed in the media and popular culture. It is built into workplace policies, education and healthcare systems. There is an openness about the discussion of mental health issues today that simply were not there a few decades ago. This means that children are receiving lessons in school centred around how their brain and emotions work, learning techniques to help regulate themselves and are getting the message that mental health is important and something to be talked about.

The Cost of 'Just Getting On With It'

But what about those people who grew up before this openness existed? For many, they simply don’t have the language to articulate their experiences within the context of their mental health. A phrase I hear a lot is, ‘I just get on with it’. If there was no language to talk about emotions and anxiety, no space created where it was acceptable to share individual experiences, and no support readily available, then it makes sense that whole generations grew up with the philosophy of ‘just getting on with it’. And this mantra serves a purpose; it does create a strength and a drive to keep going, to cope, to be there for friends and family, but it also has a cost.

Sometimes, there comes a point where it feels impossible to ‘just get on with it’. The emotional burdens become too heavy, the responsibility overwhelms and it can begin to manifest itself in anxiety, depression, hopelessness and a sense of failure.

Facing the 'Brick Wall' of Later Life Transitions

For many clients who grew up in the times before mental health was a buzzword that everyone talked about, they can find themselves reaching a stage in life when things seem to hit a brick wall. Whether it be something like a big life transition like retirement, the loss of a partner or the children leaving home, or a physical health issue that changes the way life is lived, whatever it is, this stage of life can suddenly feel overwhelming.

It’s also a stage in life that can sometimes be ignored or glossed over by popular media and culture. The image of retirement as a carefree life filled with long lunches, travel and hobbies, is often not the reality that people find themselves in. Even if retirement is everything you hoped it would be, it is still a huge life change that can bring up unexpected emotions and challenges.

Redefining the Sense of Self

Our sense of self is shaped through our life experiences, the people we interact with, our achievements and our challenges. Work forms a central part of life for most people, for decades, and when that comes to an end, it can sometimes shake the sense of self that we have built over the years. Maybe it raises questions over purpose and value, once we are no longer working. Loss of social contact and structure can create loneliness and boredom; and sometimes the opposite happens and work is replaced with caring responsibilities for parents, grandchildren and friends.

When your sense of self shifts, it can create feelings of doubt, uncertainty and loss, and sometimes the change can be hard to navigate on your own.

The Emotional Weight of Caregiving and Aging

As we get older, there are other factors that begin to commonly impact mental health and wellbeing. Many people find themselves caring for a partner in some capacity which as well as the physical challenges of daily care and safety, can also have huge emotional strain. The worry and responsibility for looking after the household on your own, the sadness of losing parts of the person you have loved for decades, the anger at the unfairness of circumstances you have no control over. All of these can build up slowly over time as you get on with the day to day living that you must do, but the emotional cost to you can show itself as anxiety, depression, overwhelm and hopelessness.

Sometimes it takes an outside eye to validate the strain that you are under, to help you to notice the impact and to create some space where your feelings and experiences can be paid attention to.

You Don’t Have to Carry the Load Alone

Whatever the challenges that later life throws up, one thing is certain. You don’t have to ‘just get on with it’. Seeking support through therapy cannot change the life circumstances you find yourself in. But what it can do is create a space where together we can firstly acknowledge the impact that this phase of life is having on you, validate the emotions and challenges that come with that, and begin to share and process the emotions and experiences in a way that lightens the load. Through doing this, your sense of self can begin to change and adapt to the new phase of life you are in.